… to People Who’ve Never Done It

At some point, someone will ask: “So… you live with other people?” Now, they won’t mean it necessarily in a bad way. They will say it the same way someone might say,  “Oh… you still don’t have a washing machine?”

This guide is for explaining shared living to people who:

• moved out once and never looked back
• think a “flatmate” is a temporary mistake
• or believe privacy is a human right guaranteed by adulthood

Start by Framing It as Normal

The most important thing is tone. If you sound like you’re justifying yourself, they’ll assume something is wrong. Shared living is, after all, just a way of living. Say it casually. Say it confidently. “Yeah, I live in a shared flat. It works really well.”

Once they hear that you’re fine, they relax.

Clarify That You’re Not Constantly Together

People who’ve never lived in a WG imagine nonstop interaction. Like everyone is always cooking together, talking, negotiating feelings. Reassure them gently: most of the time, everyone does their own thing. You have your room. You close the door. You exist independently.

It’s less “community living” and more “parallel adult lives with a shared fridge.”

Address the Bathroom Thing Without Drama

Yes, you maybe share a bathroom. No, it’s not a big deal.

You don’t need to explain how many people or what the system is. Just say it’s fine. The more details you add, the more questions they’ll have. Calm confidence here is key.

Explain the Practical Benefits Like a Responsible Adult

You don’t have to mention rent prices or market conditions. Just frame it as logical. Shared living means lower costs, less pressure, and more flexibility. You’d rather spend money on living than on square meters.

This makes it sound like a smart decision, not a survival tactic.

Acknowledge the Question About “Your Own Place”

They will ask. They always do.

“Yes, one day” is enough. You don’t need a timeline. You don’t need a five-year plan. Shared living doesn’t mean you’ve given up on anything – it just means this works for now.

Accept That Some People Will Never Get It

Some people equate adulthood with living alone, silence, and matching furniture. That’s fine. You’re not trying to convert them. You’re just explaining that your life works differently — and that it’s not a problem.

Shared living isn’t chaos. It’s not temporary failure. And it’s definitely not something you need to defend.

It’s just a way of living that makes sense right now.

And if someone still says, “I could never do that,” you can smile, nod, and think:
Yeah. That’s okay. We already know.